[[ Trapped Behind The Windows]]

Monday, July 23, 2007

[[Sleepless Nitezzzzzz]]

Never went to work todae....gonna go c doctor later to get a mc.....doing nothing at home..listening to songs and so juz thought of blogging....cant get to slp last nite....so afraid to close my eyes @ nitez...i dun wan liquor to make mi slp like how i slp so soundly on sat...yest no liquor so pr ask mi to go drink a teaspoon of cough syrupt to make myself slp....haiz..drink le oso no use....toss and turn in bed...tinking and tinking and finally fall alsp at 3+ and wake up again @ 4plus..whole nite nv haf a gd slp...so when i wake up i know i got no mood to even go to work todae...so i juz msg my assistance manager and say im having a fever.......

Stay @ home whole day yest doing nothing untill 10plus went to meet up with waiyin and peirong....glad that they come down and acc mi knowing that i wun b able to slp.....pr still say wanna bring MR BEAN to my house and watch with mi....haha....i know she herself oso dun feel good..but i appreciate that she still act as a clown yest to make mi laugh and acc mi....rainy day yest...we sit at the block downstair i can feel the cold air lor....super cold...coz im super lonely....so sweet of them still ask mi wanna rent a chalet for a few days and stay anot....ya...actually it haf been ages since i went chalet to stay.....but i will prefer it if we r travelling to other country...im serioulsy getting so sick of singapore life...all the hurtz....all the memories...all the lies....all the tears that i haf wasted and all my past.....

Feeling so emo tis few days....afew encouraging words my frends send to mi can actually make my tears roll down automatically....i cant deny that im so weak...i tink tis is the 1st time i finally understand wat is the meaning of hurt in a r/ship....when u r realli that hurt,u cant even slp at nite and cant even eat a proper meal....even how hurt i am in the past i still can slp and eat..but not now anymore....hmmm...nvm lar...treat it as im on diet bah....i hope my feeling wun affect my work and i hope tis feeling will oni last for tis week.....

chatted with keline on the line yest..she say after work she come down to mit mi today...actually i know y all of u r doing tis...u all worry i anyhow tink rite...even yest pr plan alot of things like chalet....holidays..perth and etc...told keline i wanna go beach and throw stone...and she say if i wanna go she acc mi..haha...no lar...no trasnsport troublesome and somemre u wearing office wear lar...i not so bad lar....i appreciate wat everybody is doing for mi...concerning for mi...even those msges that u all send mi in the morning asking mi am i okay...i know i haf make ppls who care for mi worry....ya..i muz admit im realli not ok BUT times can heal everything if im strong and no more soft hearted.....

k lar....gonna go and get a short nap and go c doc later to take mc and mit keline tonite....

~~~~~WO ZHEN DE ZHEN DE HAO LEI~~~~~

[[Trapped Behind The Windows]]*|7/23/2007 02:50:00 PM|

Sunday, July 22, 2007

[[Nothings Hurts More Than Lies...]]

Back to blog le....1st of all i wanna apologise to all my frends who went Dbl O with mi last nite..im sorry to spoilt everybody mood...i know most of u din enjoy yest so am i.......but im realli glad that whenever im down u all will alway be bside mi to console mi....feel much better after crying out the whole nite yest...sorry to let u guys worry....

Chiao yee-U r my ever best buddy cum sis...thank for alway being the one with mi when my life is in a total mess...thank for going down to dbl o instead of tanjong pagar with vincent..i aprreciate wat u haf done for mi and i promise u i will be fine...im glad that i alway haf ur shoulder to cry on...wat more can i ask for when i got a frend like u...

Vincent-Thank for doing all those stupid things with mi last nite...thank for answering all my question with doubts and thank for drinking with mi last nite & thank for putting ur frends areoplane and go down dbl o with cy.....

Charis-Though we never know each other for years,but im glad that u r alway the one bside mi whenever i am happi or sad...im sorry i shouted at u last nite...but u know i dun mean it...thank for toking sense to mi...thank for every single things u haf done..though i alway nv say it out but i realli realli do appreciate frends like u...love u..

LR & PQ-I cant ask for much when i haf such best cousins and sis like u all....drinking with mi whenever im at the lowest point of my life...washing my brain again and again and never once i listen to u all and yet u all never gif up on mi...tolerating with my attitude and temper whenever im fuck up and taking care of mi whenever im drunk....

Sulin-U will never ever reject mi whenever i ask u out when im feeling blue....u r a great frends that i treasure too...

Long hua-thank for ur tequilla pop @ the counter....

and the other frends who r there yest..thank for tolerating my nonsense........the list on top is my clubbing khakis....as for my shin bar khakis on friday i still got 2 more frends that i treasure alot too...

Peirong-Since young u haf alway been my best cousins sharing secret with mi..we do haf alot of misunderstanding but still we r still as close...u r always my drinking khakis when im down or happi...whenever u know im sad u will drink with mi till im drunk and cry out all my sorrows...like pq and lr...u all never gif up on mi though i alway never listen to the things u all say to mi...till todae i finally realise is time for mi to wake up...i haf realli hit the wall hard tis time...it realli realli hurts....watever happen...u r alway my drinking and drunk khakis till old and greys.....

Keline-though we never alway mit but whenever im down i alway share my secrets with u....we drink together when we are sad or happi....we cry together to make ourself feel better after drinking....when we r high we dun ever care about image and how others c us...thank for alway lending mi ur listening ears nagging to u...thank for ur advice and thank for consoling mi when u urself r not happi too...all of u are great frends of mine and great cousins to mi......

okok...realli dunno wat to blog le...my mind is blank now....the image of yest keep running to my thoughts...i cant imagine and believe wat i saw....but i cant lie to myself anymore...i saw it with my own own eyes.....charis..u r rite...i realli bang my head hard tis time....it not oni hurts.....im totally lost of words....im gona stop writting le..i dunno how to continue le...shall update again....

~~~~~Lies is the ever most scary things i haf encounter~~~~~

[[Trapped Behind The Windows]]*|7/22/2007 04:49:00 PM|

Friday, July 13, 2007

[[pIcT piCt & PicT]]

LAlalalala...mine is fake madicure..

MoRRis AcTiNg MAcHO..buT he IS faT

keNny BiRD bIrd WoR

AcTiNg CuTe

me & ChaRis bAby

AmK sIsTErz

WoMEn In BlaCk

Me..sIS & DeNNis

aGaIn FAkE mEdIcURE

aLl wAn To EAt CAkE lIAo

PeRveRTS

aLL pICt GOt Lr & cHAriS

sO LoUSy...BiTe sO ManY tIMEs

HAppY bDAe EiLEen

My sIS & KEnnY

Sis & mT

cHiO bUS

Tis Guy IS haNDsoME lOR...dRooL

mY BuDdY & sIS

mE &AgNEs ExTRA

BesTEst CousINS

eVEr BesT cLuBBiNg KhaKIS

aH pEk & sis

EXtrA(LR)..aI Ai ..Y i No KISs???

the EVEr besT LAo Ji HOnG..(MT)

geORge & cHAris

KISS kissssss

DenNIS & Me

keline & sis

me & BraNDon

Y aLWay GOt Lr BehiNd...

SweEtiES

ChaRIS bEIng FoRCe..C hEr fACE...

(SHI WAN GE BU YUAN YI..HAHAHAHA)

BDAE CAKE

CHIO bU & PeGgY

BlaCkIES

pq & GEorge

LoveLY gaL

nIce LiGhTiNg

aLWaY SAY i Drunk AnyHOW kISS..SHE OSO SAME

LALALALA..c...change target

kisser..all lesbian

Finally....finish uploading..actually still alot of pict..but i lazy le...and im in a rush to go out,hahahaha.....so tonite no drunk no home again....PR...OUR MOTTO...DRINK DRANK DRUNK...but i dun wan to be like ah tiong ok...i will cry..hahaha....todae drunkard sure is keline...tonite i sure take revenge and bite her hand back gif her blue black...lalalalalatml going ktv with crazy group of gals....so happi.....

OkOK..i gonna go prepare le or i go down sure ganna fuck by pr lor....hmmm....charis...drink more water and eat ur panadol b4 u go and slp...dun fall sick ya....recently i haf mix feeling...i hope i will get over it soon.......

SHAll update again when im free......nitesz nitez.....muackxxxxxx

~~~~~I haVE tO tInK Of A path for my own future~~~~

[[Trapped Behind The Windows]]*|7/13/2007 09:11:00 PM|

Thursday, July 05, 2007

[[Where is my happiness waiting for mi???]]

Oh ya..i gonna admit it haf been realli long since i update my blog...todae im here blogging again...feel so damn sad...lost....emo...lonely....disappointed...heart pain....tis whole week im realli feeling like shit...realli is shit...mayb worst than shit...serioulsy im tired with life....cry in office tis afternoon...haha..stupid rite...for no reason i drop tears....emo??? or depression???

Haiz....meet up with daphne yest for dinner @ town..so long nv c her le...feel so happi and relax when i saw her...and it was so comfortable thought i muz admit we do quarral and haf misunderstanding last time..mayb not working together now le bah..so i realli enjoy her company yest and im so touch when she msg mi saying she miz mi and wanna mit up with mi....tis prove than she realli treat mi as a frend and definitly not those hi and bye frends...saw waiyin at town and her mum..husband and kid...im surprise she is married with a kid....gonna mit up with her for dinner tml b4 i proceed to shin bar with pr and frends...

Seeing all my frends getting married and married so young realli make mi feel like marrying too..haha...but where is my price charming???Can someone find for mi???I miz the times beind realli dote and pamper by my bf wan lar...haiz...y now dun haf........sometimes i feel like slapping myself hard in my face..have guy oso i sad...no guys oso i siao..haha..maybe bcoz the feeling is still not there yet mah..i dun like to rush things now...im not the qingfen im used to be....going into another r/ship after i juz break off coz i know tis kind of r/ship is not long lasting and i dun wan to hurt u all juz bcoz i wanna forget that someone and be with u guys....tired le...wanna be single for awhile...wanna realli find a guy i can settle down with him and he can gif mi the attention and happiness i wan de...i dun wan to get hurt again...crying over guys again or watever shit...i wan a guy who love mi more than i do...if i never forget i believe pr promise to mi in cab that she wanna intro a good guy for mi wor..but now like few months le oso dun haf lar..haha...anyway im not so desperate lar..i wanna make more frends..but purely frends oni....

Lat fri i went ktv and sat i went dbl o......had a great fun...shall load the pict up when my sis change the size of the pict coz i tink the pict too big le and i cant put them in

This box and fingurines look so sweet...even the cards and the notes inside the card touches my heart deep....but y izit sweet oni for a few days???I juz simply cant understand tis kind of feeling and wat im tinking....he gif mi tis that day and when i open up at home i realli touch...but.........sweet things realli dun last...i realli agree with tis phrase le....memories flow through my head tis whole week....u r realli being missed.....fact bring us together but heaven is playing a fool on mi........k...enough of tis sad thing or im gonna drop tears again......juz wanna post up tis sweet things in my blog as a beautiful memories.......

PR....we are going to drink till dead drop tobolo...i have realli been veri low morale and emo...alot of things is botteming up in my heart..i tired of saying wat happen le...coz i dun even know y..juz wanna drink and be happi..

~~~~~Should i gif others a chance or juz continue to be by my own~~~~

[[Trapped Behind The Windows]]*|7/05/2007 08:49:00 PM|